It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
