what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
