she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
