That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize