i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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