Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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