garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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