I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
