So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
