The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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