It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
