She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
