it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Dignity is for republicans.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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