I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
