It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
