I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
