piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Randomize
