Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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