Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
organizing the empties. That sober.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize