It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
