i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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