Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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