Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
