The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
