Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
found the other keg... it's in the tree
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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