i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
