I swear she didn't look like that last week.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
