do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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