O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
