I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
