zippers are such a cool invention
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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