If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
