Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
