Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
