he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
