so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
are you so shy because you have an std?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
