i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
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