This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
