Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Randomize
