Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
