her vagine was all disorganized.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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