That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
