Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
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