dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
