you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
