i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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