You're so nebulous sometimes
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
