I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
There are leaves in my underwear?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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