just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I just want to make out with him forever
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
