i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
