I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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