I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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