And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I bet he comes in French.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
