if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
