you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
