I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
