I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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