No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
