wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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