I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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