next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
