WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
