okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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