I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
