I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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