Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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