From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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