Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
