Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
