i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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